i have a lot of conflicting feelings.

on one level, i’m feeling super great and happy because of new relationship things and whatnot, plus my room is the cleanest it’s been in awhile so my physical space is really nice rn.

but on every other level i’m pretty rundown. 

i’ve finally been getting some testing done to figure out my potential/likely learning disabilities (so yay) but i had my second appt this afternoon of pure testing (2 hours last week, 1 today). and it is so draining and exhausting and makes me cry because it makes me realize how much i actually can’t do. last week the dr said i would for sure finish today and have paperwork and everything. then when i walked in she was like “we’re definitely not finishing today” which probably means i can’t even take tests about how i do everything slowly at the right pace. idk. 

my body has been feeling off and tired, too. idk.

i’m missing my seminar right now bc i just feel unable to engage and super vulnerable.

i have a thing due at 6.

i just want to sleep.

doubelievengod:

goodbye

feelin’ weird and sad

i tried to put up my big tapestry but there’s no single space in my room that would fit it, even if i went around corners, so i folded it in special ways to make it fit and then i further altered once i was putting it up and now it’s “done” but it’s done shittily despite the immense amount of planning and work that has gone into it 

this is a metaphor for me right now.